I have spent years studying the nuances of Japanese
dining and have learned many of the rules for eating sushi in a
traditional restaurant. That said, while there really are no absolute
requirements, other than general politeness, there are certain behaviors that may make your dining experience more pleasant, and the
staff more attentive and interested in you. While many of the tips that follow may
be obvious to some, I hope that they may offer a bit of insight to those
who love sushi, but perhaps only have it occasionally.
Please keep in mind that while large, this is not a canonical list, and
therefore should be taken as guidance rather than strict advice. You would also do well to not read this
sushi guide and then worry ever time you go out to eat sushi. Many
Japanese do not follow all the rules to a ‘T’ (or even know them) and I
would suggest that polite behavior is enough to make a good meal at any
restaurant, sushi-ya or not, especially in North America. Again, I don’t
mean to put forth these rules as absolutes, only to offer some insight
into the depth of tradition that surrounds sushi dining experience. So
please interpret this as for informational purposes and not a directive
as to how you should behave when you go our for sushi.
How To Eat Sushi (Sushi Etiquette)
Arriving and being seated
• It is polite in any restaurant to greet the host or hostess, who may
greet you with the traditional “irasshaimase” which means “please come
in.” You just need to acknowledge their greeting and are not required to
say anything back, other than to answer the questions about your evening
(seating, etc).
• If you are interested in watching your food preparation or conversation with the
itamae
(sushi chef), ask to be seated at the sushi bar, otherwise a table is
fine (and the bar better left for those who would prefer the interaction).
Ordering
• If you are seated at the sushi bar, only ask the itamae for sushi.
Drinks, soup, and other non-sushi (or sashimi) items are handled only by
the waiter/waitress.
• Ask the itamae what he would recommend, never ‘is that fresh?” as it
is insulting to imply that something may not be. If you think it may not
be fresh, you shouldn’t be eating there, however a good itamae will
steer a diner towards the food he feels will be most satisfying and
highlight his skills.
• Respect the itamae, he is often quite busy. But feel free to engage
him in conversation if he is able. This is also a good way to build a
rapport with him and you may reap the rewards later as a regular (I
really have with one particular itamae at one of my favorite places).
• Keep your palate in mind and order accordingly. It is impolite to
leave food on your plate after your meal or act as though a particular
item is ‘gross’ if you don’t like it.
Dining
• You may be offered a hot, wet towel (called an
oshibori) at the
beginning of your meal. Use it to wash you hands and try to fold it back
neatly the way it was offered to you before returning it.
• Do not rub your chopsticks together. When not in use they should be
placed parallel to yourself on the holder (if there is one) or on the
shoyu dish. They should also be placed there when finished with your
meal.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for an item not on the menu as the sushi-ya may
have special or seasonal items that are not listed. It is perfectly
acceptable to ask, and often the itamae will appreciate your interest.
• Don’t put wasabi directly in the shoyu dish.
Nigiri-zushi (fingers of
rice topped with fish or another topping) comes with wasabi placed under
the neta (fish) by the itamae, and reflects what he feels is the proper
balance of wasabi to fish. Some of us like a little more, and you can
always sneak some separately on the fish or with it.
• It is OK to eat nigiri-zushi (sushi) with your hands. Sashimi is only
to be eaten with your chopsticks.
• Pick up the nigiri-zushi and dip the fish (neta) into your
shoyu, not the
rice (which will soak up too much shoyu). The rice is like a sponge, and too much shoyu will overpower
the taste of the food and could also lead to the rice falling
into your shoyu dish and making soup, which is not a good thing.
• Do not pick up a piece of food from another person’s plate with the
end of the chopsticks you put in your mouth. When moving food like this
use the end you hold, which is considered the polite way.
• Eat nigiri style sushi in one bite. This is not always easy (or possible) in
North America where some sushi-ya make huge pieces, but traditional
itamae in Japanese sushi-ya will make the pieces the proper size for
this. In North America, try your best and don’t worry if they won’t let
you.
• Gari (ginger) is considered a palate cleanser and eaten between bites
or different types of sushi. It is not meant to be eaten in the same
bite as a piece of sushi.
• Slurping noodles is OK, less so for soup, but a bit is fine, at least
by Japanese standards.
• In more traditional sushi-ya, if you are not given a spoon for your
soup, do not ask for one. You are expected to pick up your bowl to drink
the soup, using your chopsticks to direct the solid pieces to your
mouth.
• It’s nice to offer a beer or
sake to the itamae (but of course not
required). He may remember you and treat you well upon subsequent
visits.
• Never pass food to another person using chopsticks as this is too
close symbolically to the passing of a deceased relative’s bones at a traditional
Japanese funeral. Pass a plate instead allowing an individual to take
food themselves.
• Also, never stick your chopsticks in your rice and leave them sticking
up. This resembles incense sticks and again brings to mind the symbolism
of the Japanese funeral and prayers to one's ancestors.
• Technically one doesn’t drink sake with sushi (or rice in general)
only with sashimi or before or after the meal. It is felt that since
they are both rice based, they do not complement each other and
therefore should not be consumed together.
Green tea is a great option with sushi or sashimi.
• With alcoholic beverages, it is considered customary to serve each
other (if not alone) instead of pouring one's own drink. Be attentive of
your fellow diner’s glasses and refill them. If you need a refill, drink
the remainder of the beverage and hold the glass slightly and politely
towards a dining partner.
• Sake is available both chilled and hot, depending the quality and
style. Experiment to learn what you like, but generally, higher quality
sake is served cold. And some is quite good as well as sophisticated.
• Belching is considered impolite at the Japanese table, unlike some
other Asian cultures.
• “Kampai!” (“empty your cup”) is the traditional Japanese toast you may
hear. Do not say “chin chin” as to the Japanese, this is a reference to
a certain male body part best left out of proper conversation.
After the meal
• If you sit at the bar, tip the itamae for the food (in western
countries there is often a tip jar as the itamae will never touch money
since he touches food) and the wait staff for the drinks etc. Otherwise,
tip as you normally would.
• It is polite to thank the itamae if you were seated at the sushi bar.
If you want to try Japanese, ‘domo arigato’ is a polite Japanese
expression for ‘thank you’ and if you want to be more sophisticated (for
a westerner), you
might try “gochisosama deshita,” which loosely translated means “thank you for the
meal.” You can use the less commonly used "oishikatta desu" (it was
delicious), however this is rarely used.
• In Japan, tips are included in the bill, but in North America, tip as
you see fit.
I hope that his provides some insight into the sophisticated evolution
of the sushi dining experience. This is not an exhaustive list, but
certainly large enough for a general guide. Again, please treat this
exposition as a list of guidelines and not as hard and fast rules. I
have provided this as a reference and an article of interest, not as
something to worry westerners who think they ‘might be doing it wrong.’
Enjoy your meal as you normally would, and have fun. That is really the
purpose of going out to eat.
